i wish i can...

just a while ago, a friend of mine sent me this one...

"now i understand why some people get themselves drunk..
it's not because they just want to get wasted.
But because they wanna escape each killing moment they spend
every fucking night thinking about what's happening with their damn life!!
of course they don't forget their problems..
at least they don't spend the night crying themselves to sleep."

then for some time, i told myself ...
how i wish i know how to drink and be drunk just like what other people do whenever they can't sleep..
then i can say that at least i didn't spend the night crying myself to sleep, funny...
yes, funny for someone like me to even think about this one.

if only i can stop time, i would.
i hate him for leaving me just when i needed him most.
i hate him for being with her instead of being with me.
i hate you for not being there JUST WHEN I NEEDED YOU MOST..

how many more *** should i hate for leaving me...

i feel like walking tonight...
a lot of things that i used to do with you, but i guess now...
well i don't know....

you are just like them...

i'll be okay.
i will..
i must..

i'll be missing "neth"..
i wish i can be not me...

missing you

Naalala ko, kapag may gusto ako na kahit ano...niyayakap lang kita then lam mo na why i'm giving you that warm hug..

kapag may gusto ako, bawal lagi kay mama, then you'll just say go, then go..

the last say is always your words.though you're like that, kaya ako ganito dahil sayo. sobrang perfectionist, disciplined and ol.

i know dami natin pagkukulang sa bawat isa, kahit i have ol the right na to be angry with you, di ko magawa...

because padabaon taka na maray.if you only knew.i envy her so much, lahat binigay mo sa knya...

naging selfish ako dahil gusto kita ipagkait sa knya but now i've realized na asa akin na pla lahat...nd naging ganun pa ako sa knya..m sorry...

antayin mo po ako...sat anjan na ako..please do wait fot me...kung pwede lang na di kita iwan, gagawin ko.

pero di umaayon time ngayon so whatever time na meron ako now, promise i'll be beside you always...

now pa lang i miss you terribly na. di ko alam if kaya ko.
sabi nila, papas' girl daw ako..well oo...bakit ganun, why do you have to go...

pa, bat ganun...ala pa din akong mahanap na tulad mo...i guess i'll never find one...
so please...
don't leave yet...
please...

i want to stop time...
i really like to...
how i wish i can...

kaya ko ito...
sige lang kaya ko ito...

i love you so much pa..
i'll miss you...

holding on...

ever felt like you're so alone...alone as in you're the only living creature on earth...

i wish right now that i am not by myself..

i wish that i'm beside you...

sleeping like a child...

a child who doesn't even know what it feels like being so afraid...

a child who wakes up every morning with her mom beside her...

telling her how much she loves her and how beautiful she is...

and that she's her angel..that she makes her strong...

even if at that moment she's carrying such a heavy load upon her shoulder..

i don't wanna sleep..sleeping is like resting for a couple of hours...

i dnt feel like i deserve to rest even for an hour or two...

i wish i'm beside my dad at this very moment...

telling him how much i love him...

that i misses him so much...

i wish i'm beside you right now...

just looking at your face, your beautiful face...

when i see you happy, you make me happy..

just looking at you makes me happy..

as if i can face anything...

i wish i'm beside you right now..

your laughter gives me strength..

your eyes makes me wonder,imagine things unimaginable...

beautiful things that keeps me going...

i wish i'm beside you right now..

looking at your angelic face makes me strong..

i don't wanna see you sad and i don't wanna see you cry..

so you will neither see me sad nor cry...

for you i'll keep on fighting..

i wish i'm beside you..

coz you are my strength..

you are my life..

i wish i'm not alone..

i know i'm not alone.

thank you.

for giving me the strength..the courage..

i'll keep on holding on...